That Extra Step

Therapy can be very frustrating. As I progress through Runyon's torturous recovery, I could feel his pain as I read every page. I got to the part where Runyon explained his accomplishment of walking for the first time in months. "I remember this. I remember how this is done. It's done by putting the weight on one foot and moving the other foot forward. It's basic. Simple to do. With one foot on the ground at all times and the other one moving very gently across the floor to match the first one." (Page 69). Runyon does not directly show his emotion towards his great accomplishment, though he shows it by expressing his parent’s emotions. It showed me that he’d rather show emotions expressed through his parents rather than himself in certain moments. “They both look at me like they’ve never seen me before and then like they’ve known me all my life. And now they’re both smiling and crying, and I’ve never seen them look so proud of me.” (Page 71).
Runyon’s walking therapy reminded me of a character in the T.V series Breaking Bad.

In Breaking Bad, Hank Schrader is involved in a shoot out and is left injured. He looses feeling and motion on both of his feet and needs therapy to recover. In Hank’s case his family is overly supportive and wishes all the best for him but he doesn’t have the same faith. After many scenes of him working hard on his therapy, his attitude is always the same, bitter. He doesn’t believe he will recover every movement and feeling in his legs. The only true motivation to keep going is the case of finding the methamphetamine dealer before the accident.

You could say both Runyon and Hank have different views on their recovery. While their accidents were different their feelings towards help and recovery are far from close. I could roughly say that the reason behind their accident might be the cause of their attitude. Runyon’s suicide attempt might have opened his eyes to what there really is to live for, motivating him to recover and forget his decision. On the other hand, Hank’s incapacity was the fault of the cartel that wanted him dead making him vulnerable and lowering his moral towards recovery. Even though I still don’t know if their final recovery will be the same, a success or a failure.

Burning in Life and After Life.

As I started The Burning Journals by Brent Runyon I thought to myself who could endur such pain as lighting themselves on fire and be left cooking until dead. Since a small child I always loved playing with candles and starting fires with paper and matches but even the small burns from wax or flames on my fingers were enough to keep away from fire. Once I had the experience of the rapid spread of fire when putting alcohol onto a campsite and feeling the heat whip my face. Luckily I was never burned so much as to have skin replacement as Brent needed after his accident. As bad as being burned alive is, witnessing it can be horrifying to, just as Dante did in the Seventh Circle of Hell.

"The First Zone is for the Blasphemers, who must lie prone on a bank of sand. The falling flakes of fire keep the sand perpetually hot, ensuring that the souls burn from above and below." (Canto XIV, Spark Notes) It is Dante who goes through Hell visiting all possible circles and experiences the sight of pain and suffering. In this particular circle, the blasphemers against God are tortured by being burned in a pit of flaking fire sand. As the sinners lay there smelling their flesh and soul burn, Dante stands witness of the consequences of blasphemy. 

Now from what Brent felt for a couple of seconds, what might of felt like an eternity, would seem like paradise to those sinners being burned every moment for the rest of time. "I bring it closer to my wrist and then it goes up, all over me, eating through me everywhere. I can't breathe....I'm breathing water and smoke. I unlock the door and I open it. My hand is all black." (page 17) 

"Stop tearing. They are tearing at me. Tearing away my skin." (page 26)
His description made me cringe a little and thought about how my blisters from fires already made me tear up how would this make me feel. 

Even though both Dante's Inferno and Brent's The Burn Journals contrast each other by being fiction and non-fiction images when reading of burned bodies I always look back at that episode of CSI where they find a charcoaled body and as the camera zooms into his face his eyes open up and scarring a young boy for life, me. 

There's Always Time to Try Something New

St.Augustine's Confessions.

Vocabulary List:

1.  Pious: adj. Devoutly religious         2. Petulance: noun.The quality of being childishly sulky or bad-tempered

3. Panegyric: noun. A eulogistic oration or writing; also: formal or elaborate praise.

4. Mirth: noun. Amusement, esp. as expressed in laughter.   5. Vehement: adj. Showing strong feeling; forceful,                   p                                                                                                                     passionate, or intense

6. Firmament: noun. The heavens or the sky, esp. when regarded as a tangible thing.

7. Repudiate: verb. Refuse to accept or be associated with.

8. Gibe: noun. An insulting or mocking remark; a taunt.













9. Meek: adj.  Quiet, gentle, and easily imposed on; submissive.

10. Redemption: noun. The action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil.